A Promise For Eternity
by glindalovesshoes
Summary: "She disappeared," Emma points out unnecessarily, leaving the big unspoken question in the room. Where the hell did she go? Prompt 135 "All OutlawQueen wedding scenarios." for OQ Prompt Party. /OQ


Day II of OQ Prompt Party! Thanks to the amazing waterbaby, TreNesha and Alexandria for betaing You guys rock!

Prompt 135: All OutlawQueen wedding scenarios

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A Promise for Eternity

That he's nervous today of all days is clearly an understatement. He's absolutely terrified, but happy at the same time. Today is _the_ day, the one he's been waiting for since that night several weeks ago when he finally had the guts to ask her. It had been a decision he'd made on a whim with not much planned except for using his grandmother's ring which he'd found in Gold's shop after the second curse had been broken. He'd intended to give it to her, but then… things happened and then he died and… the fact they… no, she, it had been her, managed to resurrect him from a place that was worse than hell, a place he refers to as the _Nothing_ is still very present in every fiber of his being. It gives him nightmares, makes him a bit paranoid sometimes and has him feeling uncomfortable in pitch-dark places now. How the Evil Queen had done it, they still don't know. But she did. Robin will never forget her face, the relief; the happiness when she kissed him (much to Regina's protest and his own surprise) and told him her deed was done here. It was only moments after, when she turned around to her better half and asked her to ' _never split us again'_ before merging back into Regina. He'd caught her as she fell, her body overwhelmed from the magic of what had just happened.

Robin had been so worried when she'd cried; clinging to him like a lifeboat to never let go. So only two nights after, when they were lying in bed, limbs tangled and sheets wrapped around them - the night light on, because he didn't like it completely dark - he'd looked down at her, pressed a kiss onto her temple and asked her. And she'd said yes with a single tear rolling down her cheek. Beautiful, she'd been so beautiful and she was going to be his wife. His true love, his soul mate… bound together forever.

That's why he's so anxious now, that why he's nervously looking from David to Snow, to the guests, to the end of the aisle which is beautifully set up in Regina's front yard and then up to the bedroom. Snow has outdone herself. One could truly describe it as a fairytale wedding with only one piece missing. His bride. He can hear the clock tower strike twelve in the far distance. It's time. Music starts playing, David grins and their friends get up from their chairs, waiting for Henry to guide his mother down the aisle. Snow giggles, says something about not being too nervous, the worst thing that can happen is her waltzing in saying 'Sorry I'm late.' - which makes the rest of the wedding crowd laugh nervously.

Roland makes his way down the aisle, carrying a little pillow with the two golden rings they'd picked out together. He proudly gives the pillow to Tuck, who compliments him on doing a good job, before he hugs his father's legs and makes his way down to Tink to take his seat just like they rehearsed it. Then they wait. They wait for her to come down, to take her place beside him. The front door opens; the crowd holds its breath. Robin grins so hard it's almost hurting his cheeks. He can see Henry in his navy blue suit with an eggshell blue tie, looking so grown up and dressed up, it makes Robin's heart swell with pride. They'd gone to pick out their suits together, him, Henry and Roland and all ended up with a matching one, except that Robin had a white orchid in his chest pocket which would match Regina's bouquet.

Henry seems nervous as he makes his way down the aisle without his mother, all eyes on him. Robin's smile falters when he sees his son's face, the way his teeth are tightly pressed together and his brows are furrowed. Something is wrong. He knows the second he sees Henry take in a deep breath, but whatever it is, he knows they can handle it.

"Where's Regina, Henry?" Snow asks anxiously.

His eyes search for Robin's. "She's locked herself inside your bedroom and doesn't want to come out. I… I think you should talk to her. She's freaking out."

"I'll go," Snow says, about to rush down the two steps toward the front door, but Robin holds her back.

"No. I'll go."

"Robin… it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. Please let me talk to her."

"I don't care if it's bad luck. I died, Snow how much worse can it get? It's a case of cold feet. It's _Regina_. What did we expect? The last time she got married it didn't exactly end up a pleasant experience." Snow wants to argue, she knows things are not exactly too far from the truth here, but David silences his wife by grabbing her hand, telling Robin to go and talk to Regina. They'll wait here.

Once Henry and Robin make their way upstairs, they can hear an agitated Emma hammering against the bedroom door.

"Regina, for fucks sake, open that damn door already. Everyone is waiting for you downstairs, everyone came and you _don't_ get to back out of this! I swear, if you don't open the door in ten seconds I'm going to…"

"Emma!"

"Mom!" Henry and Robin call out to her in unison.

Emma turns around, her face carrying an angry frown like she always does when Regina irritates her. "She locked the door with magic. I can't magic myself in there and I can't unlock the door either."

Henry and Robin share a concerned look before Robin asks Emma to step aside for a moment so he can talk to his soon-to-be-wife. His ears are pressed against the light wood of the door, listening for anything that could indicate her presence on the other side. "Regina, love, please open up." Nothing.

"Regina please, it's me. Open up so we can talk about it." Still silence. Taking a deep breath, Robin bites his lip and presses down the handle. To their surprise, the door swings open, revealing a very empty looking bedroom.

"She disappeared," Emma points out unnecessarily, leaving the big unspoken question in the room. Where the hell did she go?

Xxxxx

She's sitting on a chest in her vault, back against the cold stony wall, staring into her mirror on the opposite side. It's barely lit, only a few burning candles on the walls giving off a soft flicker of light. The raw stone of the wall scratches at the exposed skin on her back, it hurts a little. But maybe pain is good, it's the only thing making her feel alive - has always been the only thing in her life she was completely sure of. A constant that always lingered above her head, ready to strike in the most unfortunate moments.

Regina has experienced so many different kinds of pain in the past, physically and emotionally; she thinks she's seen it all. A broken heart, broken bones, she's been grilled on a table, has suffered through abusive relationships, has inflicted pain upon others, has taken away pain from others. She's lost too many loved ones. From the pain of becoming evil to the pain of accepting all parts of herself, good _and_ evil. Regina thinks there can only be so many versions of pain. But is it true?

What she feels right now is a new kind of pain, disappointment mixed with fear and hatred for being a coward, for running away from the man she loves more than anything in the world. On her wedding day. She should have just said 'no' when he'd asked her, should have told him she was content with how things were between the two of them and that they shouldn't dare fate any more than they already had with him dying and coming back from the dead. _"Yes. Yes, yes!"_ was all she had said though, hands wrapped around his neck while kissing him senseless. Regina has been so sure of it… and then this morning panic and fear had wrapped their claws around her, making her thoughts run down in a spiral of 'what if's' while her heart couldn't bear the thought of losing him. Again.

The candles start to flicker from a whiff of air that makes its way down into her vault. She swallows hard and waves a hand to light a few more candles. Her gown is dipped into a light shade of orange now, it almost looks like it's burning just as her relationship with Robin. How fitting.

Staring at the person in the mirror, she doesn't recognize herself at all. Her dress is gorgeous, a mermaid cut with a sweetheart neckline that is covered by delicate tattoo lace collar, which moves into sleeves but keeps the back completely free of fabric. She's put so much thought and effort into creating her dress by magic, has spent hours down here in her secret room with bridal magazines and spell books until she created a dream of a dress that would make Robin go crazy and speechless. Everything ruined by a case of cold feet.

No, it's not cold feet, she tells herself. For the first time in forever, Regina Mills, former Evil Queen and wielder of powerful dark and white magic, is simply afraid. Not of committing to Robin, no, she loves him more than anything, would _do_ anything for him. She's afraid of the future. If she looks back at her track record, she has never been lucky. Every time a happy ending seemed within reach, a cruel twist of fate would rip everything away from her. She's lost love, more times than she can count, has lost both her parents, Daniel, Henry - at least for a while - and in Camelot she came this close to losing Robin. So to her, the fear she feels is more than valid because there is no guarantee for a happily ever after. Not for her.

It pains Regina to disappoint her family, who has worked so hard to make today happen, but it pains her even more to disappoint herself and, worst of all, Robin. Robin, who's been looking forward to this day for weeks, who's put so much effort into making this happen with her together… He's going to hate her. The moment he finds out she's gone and left it to him to notify the guests that the wedding is cancelled, he is going to hate her.

Perhaps it's better this way. She's always been more capable of handling anger over happiness and if having Robin hate her would keep all other evil away from him, then so be it. Regina never wanted to disappoint him, but she'd rather have herself responsible for destroying her own happiness than anyone or anything else. She's been down that road before and if there's one thing she doesn't want to happen again, it's slipping into old habits.

So she sits here… and waits. For what, she doesn't know. There isn't even a clock in here and she's purposefully left her phone at home so she wouldn't be tempted to pick up one of the hundreds of calls she'll certainly have gotten by now. If she doesn't move soon, someone will sooner or later find her. With David or even Emma she could deal, but there is no way she will look into the devastated faces of Snow, Henry, Roland and Robin. Maybe she should pack her things and leave Storybrooke?

 _Don't be ridiculous, Regina!_ But right now the thought of just leaving is a thousand times better than the prospect of having to explain herself to her family. What is she supposed to do? Long dried tears start welling up again at the pure desperation she feels ripping through her. Shit. Shit, shit, shit!

The fainted echo of someone calling her name rings through to her. She's busted. She should magic herself away, perhaps to her office, perhaps somewhere else, but Regina is frozen in place, face buried in her hands, tears finally falling. Please, please don't let it be him… Once again though, she's let down, her wishes are ignored. Regina can hear his faint steps coming closer, has memorized the sound and would know them anywhere. He's coming. He's coming and everything inside her screams _run_ but it's time to face him, because she owes him an explanation. The thing is… she doubts it's a good one.

So Regina remains there, on the chest and it feels so much like a deja-vu of another time when Robin came to find her in her vault it's uncanny. Back then she'd been hiding as well, but things had been more complicated, weren't they? Not really. They couldn't be together then and they can't be together now. The reasons may be different, but they just can't. They _can't_!

His steps come closer. For the fact that he prides himself to be one of the best thieves in all the realms, he makes an awful lot of noise. Perhaps that's his intention though, to warn her that he's coming. A simple gasp announces his presence and Regina doesn't dare to raise her head up from her hands, wonders if she imagined the quiet "Stunning…" he whispered out loud.

Perhaps he'll go away again; perhaps he just won't see her… But it's only wishful thinking. Instead, she can hear him come closer a few more steps before he stops… and waits.

To be honest, for Regina that's the worst. The not saying anything at all. She'd rather have him yell at her for ditching him or ask some passive aggressive question, but this silence… it's the worst he can do to her. Regina can't see him drinking her in, how his eyes are wandering over her beautiful form dipped into yellow candlelight. She can't see how his eyes shimmer with love and a devastating heartbrokenness at the same time, and least of all she cannot see the lonely tear that is running down his cheek, losing itself somewhere in his scruff. He's still dressed in his tuxedo, hasn't even thought about taking it off before he finds her.

"May I sit down next to you?" It's the only thing he says after moments of waiting and silence. It pains Regina even more to consider the fact he has to _ask_ her for something simple like this, to simply be near her. A whimper escapes her, something he must have considered a 'yes'. Robin moves, she can hear him. Carefully he sits down beside her, close but not yet touching, a fact that breaks Regina's heart into even more tiny pieces. He's never been afraid to touch her… but is he really afraid, or is he rather giving her space? She was the one to run off after all.

That's how they sit there in complete and utter silence, only disturbed by the sound of Regina's soft sniffles. How can he be silent? How can he not say at least _something_ , how can he not yell at her or make her look at him, how can he just sit there and wait? It's driving her completely and utterly crazy, even though she realizes she's always done that to her. In any good way there is. Regina can't take it, can't have him sitting right next to her without touching him. So it's her who closes the small gap between them, who brushes her shoulder against his… and him who finally sighs and wraps his arms around her, soft fingers caressing her bare back.

"I'm sorry," Regina finally chokes out, taking her hands off her face in order to return the embrace. Robin smells good, soothing, calming. It's his usual odor of pine and forest and the aftershave she's gotten him a while ago.

"Me, too," is all he answers and if she weren't upset already, now she definitely would be. He's the last person in the whole scenario that has to feel sorry. It's her, her fault; all he did is love her unconditionally. Every damn side of her, the good, the bad, simply everything, which is what upsets her even more. So Regina has to reassure him that no, it's not _him_ , it's _her_. She is the problem.

"I'm afraid."

Robin stiffens immediately, loosens his hold around her. No, no, this is the last thing she wants, she _wants_ him to hold her, _needs_ him to hold her, so she quickly adds: "Not of you! Never of you, Robin." Taking a deep breath she pulls back in order to be able to look him in the eye for the first time ever since this morning. His tux is neat and shiny, probably brand new. He's wearing an old fashioned tie with a white and beige stripes pattern that's shorter than usual. His tux is in a dark shiny blue, a choice she finds surprising since he's more the green kinda guy but it suits him well. She _likes_ it very much and she would have loved to see him waiting for her at the… no. _No._

"You know my story, Robin. I grew up with a mother I could never please, a mother who made insults disguised as compliments. Every day I hoped my fairy godmother would show up and break me out of this hellhole of a home with my father being my own bright spot. No one ever came. I gave up."

"Regina…" Robin started but she shakes her head. She needs him to listen.

"Then I met Daniel and for the first time, I was happy, Robin. I thought finally my prayers and wishes had been heard, but fate only gave me a short glimpse at happiness before it was all ripped away. Then I thought of magic. I thought maybe I could learn magic to bring Daniel back from the dead and the thought made me happy. Frankenstein… Whale tried. Only now I know he didn't really, but when he told me it wasn't working, I was crushed all over again. Robin, I thought I would finally get my Happy Ending when I enacted the first curse. But again I woke up and I wasn't happy, it was an endless loop and not what I thought it would be. I won, but then at the same time, I lost. When Henry came I thought this was the end of my misery and it was for a few years until he started hating me. I lost him, too for a while." She can't help her voice getting watery all over and damn, she wishes she would stop crying altogether.

"But what about me?" Robin whispers.

Regina looks up, capturing his cheek with her hand. "Robin… I almost lost you… twice. I wouldn't stand a third time, Robin. I love you. I love you so much, but don't you see? Every time I was this close to happiness it was all ripped away from me. _You_ were ripped away from me." She takes a deep breath, not sure if she's able to say it out loud. "I'm scared of being happy, Robin."

"Oh my love…" Robin shakes his head, pulling her back into a tight embrace where she's able to hide her tear streamed face in his neck again. His hands are wandering up and down her back, absently tracing the tattoo lace. She can't tell what he's thinking but no matter what, she just can't stomach one of his sure-to-follow hope speeches. It's hard enough as it is. Hope has never brought her anything but pain, just like happiness. She isn't destined to be happy, it's just not in the cards for her and it's time to make amends with that.

"I can't marry you. I can't risk it, I would never forgive myself. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" The brunette sobs into his shoulder, can't help it even though she wants to. Regina has to mourn yet another supposed happy ending she has to say goodbye to. She can feel Robin's body silently shake as well and when she feels little drops of salt water fall onto her neck, she realizes Robin must be crying, too. Perfect. Yet another happy ending she has ruined.

Regina is tired. Tired and exhausted and she can feel a headache coming which is probably due to all the crying she did today. It takes a while before they shift and just sit there; her head leaned against his chest. Robin's arm around her shoulders, protecting her from the cold and rough stone of the wall behind her. She doesn't deserve him, doesn't deserve him protecting her, looking out for her, trying with everything to make her happy. He deserves better.

"Stop that," he whispers, pressing a kiss to her temple. She feels caught, wonders if he's read her thoughts or if she accidentally said it out loud without noticing. "I love you, Regina."

They're just three little words but they cut right down to the core. She doesn't deserve his love.

"I said stop that. Please listen to what I'm trying to say, okay?"

Regina nods, not daring to say or think anything else. Robin shifts her up so that she can look him directly in the eye. It's not something she particularly likes right now, because she is sure her own eyes will betray her, but she owes it to him to listen.

"I understand your concerns and I understand why you're afraid. I wish you would have talked to me instead of just running." Her eyes shift away. Regina feels uncomfortable at the criticism even though it's more than justified. She shouldn't have just poofed off without telling anyone. They must have been very worried, especially him. "Please look at me, Regina."

Taking a deep breath, the former queen shifts her eyes back to Robin's slightly red rimmed blue orbs.

"I know you don't want to hear that, but I've always told you when your behavior was unfit and you just leaving hurt. I didn't doubt that you love me, not for one second," the thief quickly adds and she can feel her nerves calm down slightly. "I know you love me very, very much and maybe that's one of the problems why you think you can't have me, or why you're afraid that the two of us getting married will end in a disaster.

"Regina, when my soul was locked up in the _Nothing_ all I felt was pain. The pain of loss. Of losing _you_. I do not recall much of my time there, but that I remember. So I too, have lost you. But now I am back and I'm so _happy_. You're stunning; you're the most beautiful person inside and out. Just looking at you, holding your hand, being near you makes me so, so happy. I don't need to be married to you to feel that wonderful warm piece of happiness flaring up inside my chest whenever I look at you, whenever you smile. I can't believe I'm here with you. It's a gift and yes, the prospect of ever losing you again through any circumstance is terrifying me, too."

He looks at her for a long moment before he takes her hands hand into his. She's grasping them like a lifeline.

"Regina. I cannot promise you a happily ever after. I cannot promise you that I won't die or there won't be a time where we are separated from each other. I cannot promise you to never fight with you or to always agree with you or to never call you out when I think you've switched places with your other half. What I can promise you is that I'll always be here for you as long as fate lets me, that I'll always find my way back to you in one way or another. I can promise you that I will always do anything in my power to talk things out with you and that I will never - you hear me? - _never_ stop loving you. I don't need to stand in front of a big crowd to know that, I don't need someone asking me whether I will always love you til death do us part and all that. We've already been there. No matter how many villains and obstacles we face or whether a piece of paper says we are legally married or not: You're my true love, Regina. You're my _soulmate_ and that won't ever change. That I promise you. It's my promise for eternity…"

Regina doesn't know what to say. She's stunned into silence by his words and cannot believe that once again Robin is willing to give everything up for her. She loves him. So much. That's why when her thumb caresses his ring finger she knows what to do. Slowly she lets go of one hand, a tiny cloud of purple smoke surrounding her fingers. His eyes shot up confused and he's even more surprised when she takes his left hand.

"Robin… I don't deserve you." He wants to protest but she shuts him down by shaking her head. "No, it's true. Sometimes I wonder if I'm still paying for my sins - and if that's so, I don't mind. I've done so many wrongs… but there is one thing right in my life… and that's you. I was never surer of my love for you. I want to be with you, Robin, for as long as I'm allowed to. I know it's impossible to promise each other forever. But… but what we can do is promise to not waste a second of the here and now."

Regina is holding up the matte golden wedding band with a shining white gold embroidered infinity symbol they picked out together weeks ago. Her hand is shaking as she brings it closer to his hand but doesn't slip it on just yet.

"I love you," he says with so much determination and love she can't but choke out a laugh. That's all the confirmation she needs. Her nervousness is washed away all of a sudden and she slips the ring onto his finger. Regina is about to press a kiss onto it when Robin pulls her close, his lips hovering just above hers when he says: "You're right, Regina. We don't need forever as long as we have the here and now."


End file.
